Failure

This year marks four years since I lost weight. My body changed so quickly as I lost weight. So much so that it took the rest of me to catch up. When my body began to change once again, it was slower. Noticing only when I needed to go up in sizes in my clothes. Still, as slow as it was, this too has taken me to time to come to terms with.

My lifestyle is different, the amount of time I dedicated to working out is far less. Back then I was doing two work outs nearly six days a week. These days I do about thirty minutes four to five days per week.

The kinds of food I eat then and now are similar. However, these days I am more apt to go through a drive through. Dig into several helpings of ice cream. That tomorrow I will do better or I worked out so it’s alright.

But it’s not. Not because I’m no longer skinny but because I’m setting myself up for failure with each choice. My family has a host of health issues. Many of which can be avoided with good health.

Part of it is being busy. Another part is just wanting to have to not be so careful. Having to count every calorie that I eat. After I initially lost weight, I traded in binge eating for calorie counting. No middle ground from one to the other. In some sense I feared what would happen if I would gain weight.

But I have gained weight.I am a failure. I’ve failed, again and again I have made the bad choice. The lazy choice. 

[Tweet “But I have gained weight.I am a failure. I’ve failed, again and again”]

But not the easy choice,it’s never the easy choice. It’s sometimes the convenient one. Or falling back into old coping mechanisms.

But I keep going. I keep trying because I understand the greater reward. Failure happens but it doesn’t mean I need to stay there. 

 

 

 

Rediscovering Motivation

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This has been a tough year thus far for a multitude of reasons. One aspect has been my health. Gaining weight after working so hard to lose it three years ago has been disheartening. My motivation to eat well and exercise fell by the wayside.

More and more I found myself choosing the comfort of food. Not that I fell back into full on binging as I have in the past. It is more making poor food choices when there are plenty of healthier options available.

Then a day or two goes by without a workout or good food choices. Since those days went by what does it matter if another one does? Then it becomes a week, and before I realized it a month. Sure, I’ve been busy. Juggling three part time jobs isn’t easy. But it also doesn’t mean I couldn’t have worked out those days.

Some of it is laziness, not being willing to wake up earlier to run. Or getting in one after a mentally draining work day.  Not planning my meals ahead, which lead to me heading for drive thru’s instead of a waiting meal. Indulging in dessert when I shouldn’t have. Some of it is simply the reality of my new schedule, mostly eating dinner later than 7:30pm.

Then there is the difference in my body from three years ago. I am on the other side of thirty five, nearly forty. That’s something I need to remember, to honor and not berate myself.

And that I will need to work at being motivated. Something I didn’t need to do before. The motivation was just there, supernaturally planted. However, over time complacency set in for me. Complacency I don’t always fight against. In that I have lost the motivation that once came so easily.

This needs to change, I need to fight for my life. To care for this body, not to achieve some perfect body but in order to live a full life. I will plan ahead for my meals and snacks. I will fight against temptations at the office as the busy season kicks into gear. I will run at least three days a week and focusing on strength training the other two.

In doing so I hope to regain motivation. Caring for this body and my overall health.

Have you had to regain motivation?

Five Truths About Weight loss

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Three years ago I began my journey to health. Just over two years I began my blog about it over at Blogger. You read those posts here and here. I have learned much and had to from time to time relearn the lessons of losing weight and maintaining.

Here are my five truths about weight loss.

1- You have to want to get healthy.
We all know what we should do to live a healthier life. Having knowledge and wanting to use it are two vastly different things. Your own desire for a better life is what will motivate you. My motivation for getting healthy were numerous. Among them were wanting to change and having someone willing to help me in doing that.

2-Getting healthy means being uncomfortable.
You are eating new kinds of (somewhat) unfamiliar food as well as exercising. Not only that but mastering these new skills in PUBLIC. It means watching your portion sizes and saying “no” to the workplace birthday cake. You may limp into work or curse the day you discovered squats (as I did).

3- You will receive a lot of attention.
Once your weight loss is noticed, it will be the ONLY thing people will want to ask you about. Everyone wants to know what your “secret”. You will disclose that its watching your food and exercising (sometimes twice a day). Then they will get that disappointed look on their face. Because there is no short cut to true change. During this phase of my weight loss I found I had to have a pat answer. It was easy enough to do since I was repeating myself over and over and over.

4- Losing weight will have to become your life for a time.

Changing your life takes a lot of energy, both physical as well as mentally. I would say it takes more mental energy to do this. Constantly pushing yourself to eat well and work out hard. You can not do this half way. IT is all or nothing, especially with initial weight loss. This reality can be hard for you and loved ones, when opting to keep your work out date instead of hanging with friends. Don’t neglect them during this time but your health is important.

5- There will be that awkward stage where nothing in the closet fits properly.

At first when your favorite jeans are just a bit loose, its a great feeling. Enjoy it! Not long after you will need to a belt or suspenders to hold them up. You may be halfway to your goal weight and suddenly EVERYTHING hangs oddly. At some point, you will need new clothes to get through this period.

Don’t spend a lot of money. What I discovered is that friends often had bags of clothes they had intended to give away. Or go to Good Will to get a few key pieces. Your body will continue to change as you pursue a healthier life.

Next week’s posts will focus on maintenance.
What surprising thing have you learned about losing weight?

Mid Week Motivator- Finding What Works For You

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Not every type of exercise is for everyone. Maybe you have tried a class and found you just did not like it. Or the gym you tried was just really weird. Do not give up, do not give in to excuses or allow being uncomfortable to hold you back.

You may find yourself restricted by old injuries, limitations or even desire. This is alright. Part of working out is actually enjoying what you are doing. Take into consideration if you do have the above issues. Seek out a personal trainer or consult your doctor before starting a new work out program.

Yes, you read that right. If you are not enjoying what you are doing, then you will not continue to do it.

Now, this does not mean that it will always be easy to do. The challenge in working out should be what drives you to want to do it more. Hence, this is where the enjoyment comes from.

In seeing how your body responds after getting into this habit. Seeing the changes in your body is what will motivate you. To do more reps or finish them faster.

All that will bring you joy as you find what you enjoy doing. To push yourself.

For me it is running. It is what helped me lose weight just over three years ago. It was the most economical as I did not need to join a gym as I took advantage of local parks. I enjoy how running feels, sometimes  even during ( hahaha). When I have a bad day, or just need a good quick 20 min workout, I go for a run. All in all, I do enjoy it. This is key.

What types of exercise do you enjoy?

Mid Week Motivator- That Busy Time

We all have our busy times. Those times when opening up the calendar or date book can be rather frightening.

It would be easy to remove working out from the daily or weekly To Do’s. I know I have often done this myself. Allowing for time constraints to play into my tendency for laziness.

Working out consistently five to six days a week is not easy. I no longer have the kind of time as I did when I was starting this journey. The time to dedicate to doing two workouts a day.

This is what I have learned about myself and working out.
1- It is not always about the length of the workout, but the intensity. On those hectic days, when I know I may have only thirty minutes this is helpful.
2- When I can’t workout, the kind of food I eat is more important than on those days when I do. If I can’t exercise, at least I can feed my body well.
3- I have to be intentional about working out. I owe it to myself . This means putting it back on my calendar and doing it. No matter how tired I may feel. It is always worth doing because I feel better, can think clearer and even sleep better.

Mid Week Motivator-Taking A 30 DAY CHALLENGE!

I am in the middle of a 30 day challenge called Cross Fit at Home. Something a friend send to me via Pinterest. You can find the workouts at Www.alexajeanbrown.com 30-Day CrossFit Challenge Round 2.

Here are five reasons that I find I am enjoying it:

 

1- It is challenging– I hate burpees and pushups are a close second and in this challenge I am forced to do them numerous times.

 

2- The workouts are short but intense– When I started out exercising my workouts were at least an hour long, seven days a week. Not to mention I was also doing a second workout later that evening. This was also during my weight loss phase of my journey. Since then I have had to readjust my perception of what a quality workout is and that does not always mean an hour long.

 

3- It is flexible– I have had to readjust my rest days or a workout due to my busy life. I have found it is easy to move around a workout from one day to another.

 

4- It has me excited about exercising again– I have been in workout rut lately and doing this challenge has given me the chance to shake that off.

 

5- It reminds me that one does not need a lot of equipment – Something that I have known but it often bears reminding. All you need is the right mindset and determination and the rest will follow.

 

What different kinds of exercises or challenges have you tried?