Gaining Weight, Gaining Perspective


The reality of weight loss is that the work never stops. It can be exhausting, constantly feeling the pressure get that work out in or make that right choice with food. This has been my struggle this year. Not wanting to do what I need to do. I just did not want to have to do anything at all.

Not watch my calories
Not work out as hard as I should.

And I have paid the price for these choices. I have gained weight. I began to feel as if I had no energy again, that no matter how much I slept, I would still feel as if I needed more.

I knew I lacked motivation and though I tried, I did not have it. Knowing what it took for me to lose weight the first time made me hesitate now. There was no way I could replicate that experience.

Nor should I . Because I am older, closer to forty than before. My body is not shy about telling me that. The truth is with my body, I need to workout. I need to eat well. Otherwise, what happens is I gain. My body needs it. My emotional health needs it. My spiritual health needs it.

Because all this is connected. One either helps the other or ends up hindering it.

I need to meet myself where I am right now, not where I was three years ago. In doing so I honor all the hard work I have put in over the years. I honor who I am, my overall health and perhaps too my sanity.

I think better when I eat better and exercise. My stress level goes down. I sleep better. I simply am better.

As my friend advised me at the start of my journey that once I started this, I was on it for life. And so I continue onward.

My goals this time? Run two 5k ‘s .
I am signed up for a fun run called the Bubble Run this month and another one in November. I want to complete a 10k by next January.

Food wise, cut out more sugar from my diet. I have stopped using flavored creamer for my coffee, cut down on my deserts per week.

Mid Week Motivator: No Excuses


I leave my running shorts and sneakers out in plain view in my bedroom. I spend a lot of time in my room and constantly having these items in my line of sight is a great reminder. Putting them away, it is easier to come up with an excuse to not workout.

It also helps me to change from my work clothes right into my workout clothes. Even when I’m not intending to go until much later. Having those clothes on pushes me to get out there, even when I least feel like it.

What helps you to get motivated?

Regaining A Sense of Urgency

I have lost my sense of urgency with being healthy. For months now something has not been quite right. Yes I have continued to work out but not as hard, not pushing myself as I once did. As for how I eat, the majority has been my usual healthy choices but with a bit more of the not so healthy mixed in. Excusing my weight gain as natural. That it had been three years since I began this health journey and it was simply just fine.

But it isn’t. This past fall my family went through a fairly stressful period. I can not go into details because I want to protect their privacy and it is not my story to tell. I underestimated  just how much all of it was affecting me. I turned to my old freniemy, food. Though I must say, I did see how far I have come with my binge eating. This time it was limited to deserts. Having two helpings of frozen yogurt instead of the one.

I knew what I was doing, I understood the choices I was making could undermine everything I had worked so hard towards. I was in denial. Even after having to purchase new pants a size larger and seeing what the scale was telling me. I still could not place why I had become complacent.

What I began to realize was that I had lost most of all the sense of urgency I had at the start of my journey. I recall pushing myself to run harder, faster because I was trying to save my life. It was not about being pretty or well thought of, but to live my life well. Somewhere along the way I forgot that. I can not replicate my life in those days, and I have tried but going backwards does no good.

That time for me was rather magical. It was special and I will always treasure that experience but I must also let it go. I must let it go in order to move forward. Losing weight and maintaining is just as much a mental exercise as well as physical. My body knows what to do. I know what my body is capable of doing. It is a matter of having the motivation. I do need accountability, I need to let people know of my struggle to continue onwards. Accountability and encouragement were and are key in this journey. Another thing I had forgotten.

Right now my biggest motivation is not to become the fat girl again. I said goodbye to her three years and she is not welcome back. Perhaps that is the start of regaining that sense of urgency. Fear, healthy fear of undoing all I have worked towards.

I will not give up. I will continue to strive towards living a well rounded, healthy life. I hope to run another half marathon by next year ( financially permitting) and to maintain a healthy weight in order to live this life well. I am starting to feel motivated once again.


Mid Week Motivator-Taking A 30 DAY CHALLENGE!

I am in the middle of a 30 day challenge called Cross Fit at Home. Something a friend send to me via Pinterest. You can find the workouts at 30-Day CrossFit Challenge Round 2.

Here are five reasons that I find I am enjoying it:


1- It is challenging– I hate burpees and pushups are a close second and in this challenge I am forced to do them numerous times.


2- The workouts are short but intense– When I started out exercising my workouts were at least an hour long, seven days a week. Not to mention I was also doing a second workout later that evening. This was also during my weight loss phase of my journey. Since then I have had to readjust my perception of what a quality workout is and that does not always mean an hour long.


3- It is flexible– I have had to readjust my rest days or a workout due to my busy life. I have found it is easy to move around a workout from one day to another.


4- It has me excited about exercising again– I have been in workout rut lately and doing this challenge has given me the chance to shake that off.


5- It reminds me that one does not need a lot of equipment – Something that I have known but it often bears reminding. All you need is the right mindset and determination and the rest will follow.


What different kinds of exercises or challenges have you tried?