Fighting For Friendships

Relationships are hard. Friendships take time to cultivate and go through seasons of distance. It has made me realize that Friendships have to be fought for.

Recently my life has been busier and because of this, I have allowed some things to fall to the wayside. Busyness has become the easy excuse to not do things or to engage with people. Along with being busy also comes both mental and physical exhaustion. Busyness can be a good thing but we can also use it to avoid other things in our lives. As if it gives us an out for those things we engage in full schedules and obligations.

Which can lead to self isolation without realizing it is occurring. This has happened with my friendships recently. So preoccupied with the what I had to deal with and my own struggles, that I was missing what was going on with my friends. Accepting the odd text or social media comment made up for lack of conversation or time spent with each other. In doing so, I am missing what is happening in their lives and vice versa.

There are times when friendship can be easier, when we see each other at church every week or at a Bible study during the week. But when it is not as convienent to make those lunch plans, we can get used to letting friendship fall to the wayside. It takes effort to keep a friendship going, to go deeper than responding “I’m good”.  Or not asking for help or telling the truth of what is happening in our lives because we know the other person has a lot going on as well.

[Tweet “The reality is I forget how much I need friendship. In the busyness, I turn away from people.”]

The reality is I forget how much I need friendship. In the busyness, I turn away from people. In my exhaustion I hit decline an incoming call or answer a text the next day. But I need relationship, I need others to speak truth into my life. When I drift away from these kinds of deep of friendship, I lack true accountability.

Getting caught up in the busyness, I turn away from people. In my exhaustion I hit decline an incoming call or answer a text until the next day. But I need relationship, I need others to speak truth into my life. When I drift away from these kinds of deep friendship, I lack true accountability.

This can make once deep friendships all about the surface, eventually leading to an end. I would like to know that I fought for a friendship before it comes to an end. I know there are seasons for certain people to be in my life and I in theirs. And others, others that will last the rest of my lifetime. No matter which of my current relationships fall into, I will fight for it. Fighting through the busyness of my life, widening my view to  no longer be so narrow.

Mid Week Motivator: My Favorite Groceries


Developing a healthy relationship with food has meant consistency in my pantry and fridge. Week in and week out I purchase the following items. I know they will fit into my food budget, full of good fats and keep me fueled properly. I have covered how to eat healthy on a budget here

Coconut Oil – since discovering this gem I have never gone back! This bottle of goodness is simply amazing and also has so many uses beyond cooking.

Whole Oatmeal Oats– not only is this a healthy breakfast but I have used this to substitute flour (which I never think to purchase), to make muffins or cookies.

Bananas– The great thing about these is they get better as they age. There is no need for them to go to waste. When they are overripe they still can be used, full of nutritious goodness.

Spinach– raw or cooked this is one item I make sure is in my grocery cart.

Mixed Nuts – a great source of protein and available either with out salt or non at all.

Popcorn kernals- this is a new favorite since I discovered how to make microwave popcorn instead of using packets.

Plain Yogurt- either low fat or greek I usually purchase a container and measure out what I need each day.

Chia Seeds– another new addition, I add them to my oatmeal or yogurt. The secret is to soak them in water to get the most out of them. Also add them to your beverages.

Coffee– because I need my one cup if French pressed brew to get my day started off. I do use a small amount of flavored creamer.

Frozen Yogurt– a little sweet to end the day. Just enough to satisfy my sweet tooth.

This certainly is not an exhaustive list but these items help keep me in check. I know they will leave me feeling satisfied and fuel me with needed energy.

What foods do you always purchase to help keep you on track?

Saying Goodbye


I said goodbye to a friend the other day. My dear Hershey boy was an old man at 24 years old. He had not been eating much and had gotten down to a tiny six pounds. And so I made the best decision for him, to let him go. To end his suffering and to prevent any unnecessary poking and prodding.

The first night home was strange. His favorite resting spot was now empty. I found myself petting it a few times during the night. No more will I hear his gentle purring next to me. Or his begging meows for his weekly serving of wet food. No more scolding meows when I would come home and not immediately pet him.


He was my best friends cat first. The first time I met Hershey he was teasing her blind dog Woofer. His constant companion was another cat named Jake. The two would get into trouble outside. Hershey starting up fights, leaving Jake to finish them.

By the time he came into my care, he was older and more settled. My friend could no longer care for him and I offered to take him home. I had never owned a cat. He was wary of me as he did not know me. But soon we found our way.


That was about eight years ago. In that time he became my ride or die. It was him who was there for me when sick late at night. He gave me cuddles when it hurt just a bit too much to be alone. Having him in my life was an assurance of love. In turn he showed me what it was to love.

Right now, I feel alright. I do not think it has fully hit me that he is gone. Sunday after I got home from church was when he got his wet food. Maybe it will hit me then. My only regret was not wiping away the gunk from his eyes one last time. I did kiss him and stroke his one ear just so. Quickly the anesthetic was injected, and he lay down. Then he was gone, free from pain.

I am not sure about adopting another. It will not be for at least a few months at least. If I do it will definitely be from the local shelter.


Why Do We Enjoy Being Scared

Last weekend my best friend and I went to Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios in Orlando, Fl. We paid to enter into haunted houses and have people scare us. Standing in line for more than hour for The Walking Dead house.

It occurred to me, we are weird.

Seriously weird.

There is some level of control at these places. The actors are restricted from touching you and we have an out. If it becomes too much, we get to have it stop.

Something not always available in real life. When scary things happen we do not get to prepare for it. I do not know how long it the situation will last.

Upon entering the houses I knew that I would also emerge unharmed. Perhaps my heart would beat faster, but that would be all.

Scary movies, haunted houses allow us to explore our fears in a relatively safe environment. Where the scary monsters are more tangible than those that chase us in our everyday lives.

Perhaps that is the attraction. And of course the best part is not being alone. So many times in our lives we have to face the scary, hard things alone.

I knew through out the night my friend was not far behind. The same can’t be said in real life. That was a comfort.

How do you handle fear? Why do you think we enjoy haunted houses and scary movies?

Growing In Friendships


Cancer walk with Dienne & Ana

Friendship has not always been easy for me. Real,in depth messy friendship. The kind where weeks can go past without talking and the conversation naturally picks up. Where you are loved well and they tell you if you are being an ass.


It takes being open and willing to love. Love is rather messy isn’t it?
It means hurting when they hurt. It means being disappointed at times.

They are the ones who know right away that all is not right in your world before anyone else. Where all you need to do to start off a fit of giggles is one look.

Not every friendship is meant to last a lifetime . They have their season and then our lives change. Others, are those forever friends. The ones you look at to figure who will be Blanche, Dorothy or Rose in a real world version of Golden Girls.


I have been blessed in my friendships. I have learned so much about how to love through them. I don’t know who I would be without the amazing women in my life. We need these types of nitty, gritty friendships in our lives.

Opening myself to these friendships has not always been easy but it has been entirely worth it.

Which of your friends do you envision sitting alongside you when you are old and grey?