Birthdays can be weird. Well I can feel weird about celebrating my birthday. All kinds of unexpected emotions can come to the forefront on this day for me. Things that I can’t quite place my finger on or fully understand. Funny how that can happen. In all other respects the day of ones birth is a regular day for everyone else.
Birthdays were magic when I was a kid. It was a day or even a few days of food, fun and gifts. Classroom parties with cupcakes and a family dinner of my choosing. One year I wanted to be “fancy” and asked to go to McDonalds for dinner. I was also five or six at the time. They required no effort on my part for people to acknowledge it. It was just a great day of people wishing me a happy birthday. I felt cared for and loved.
As an adult though, it has lost some of its magic. It has become an obligatory thing with Facebook notifications telling me when it’s someone’s birthday. These notifications have become so routine that it can be easy to scroll past them. It feels forced, this reminder of someones birthday as can the response to it. At least from me it does.
Birthdays have made me selfish. As a teenager I wanted more of everything, more attention, more fun and food. I wanted the biggest bouquet of balloons to walk obnoxiously through the school hallways. Remember when those balloons were the thing? Are those still something highschoolers do?
As an adult part of the magic is gone because I am the one who has to plan it. Which feeds into my people pleasing aspect of myself. Will people want to come? Will my invite be ignored? I worry if people will have a good time. I have found too that some years I want to tell everyone its my birthday. Other years I welcome my close friends and family wishing a happy birthday but really don’t desire the attention from so many people at the same time.
Neither are wrong or right. The key to having a magical birthday as an adult is to let go and allow the day to unfold as it will. Enjoy the well wishes from friends and family. Celebrate however you see fit, because this is the day of your birth ( along with a few thousand others). This year I did a little of both, allowing the day to be what it was. It was a series of good times with my amazing family and friends. For this I am grateful and my heart is full.
Mother’s day is coming up next week. It can be a day wrought with emotions and tough to get through. Whether it is a longing to be a mother or missing yours. Or a mother missing her children. Perhaps the pain of hoping and trying for children, only to continue waiting.It can become a day to avoid attending church or engaging with people. It can be too much, too hard.
Know that God sees you and loves you in this. That he too grieves for what you grieve. Some years I feel the loss of my mother more and others not as much. This holiday was created to honor our mothers. All kinds of mothers, from those who gave birth, those who raised and loved on us. The women who have invested in our lives. It is about stopping to take a moment to acknowledge these women is important.
If it hurts too much because of loss or loss of hope it is ok. Take care of yourself. Do what you need to do to get through the day. No matter what that looks like for you. Whether it is being with your church family or friends. Or holing up in the house with your favorite people or even Netflix. You will get through this day. I can’t promise that this will dull the ache you feel, at least not right away.
In this hardship, God is with you. May you be comforted by him, know that you are being loved through this by Him and those in your life.
For those of you who get to celebrate the day with family, enjoy your time together. Eat well and laugh together, creating memories is not about planning something ahead but enjoying the moment. These times in our lives to simply be with the ones we love are fleeting.
Beyond any gifts that can be given, ones time is certainly priceless.
As a little girl, I played with my mother’s make up. Playing dress up in her clothes that she no longer wore. It was act of mimicking what I saw. I longed to be grown up and make up was very grown up. My mom wears make up on a near daily basis, and I began wearing it off and on during my middle school years. A habit that has continued onto this day. Some days I wear want to wear it and others I barley get some on at all.
This past week I got to have my make up done. This may not seem like much but it is not often that I get to have this done. I can count on one hand the number of times I got to have this done. This last time was for a work luncheon for my day job. All of us got to be glammed up as part of the celebration. It was fun and weird having so much attention on me. From the amazing young lady who did my make up to the reactions garnered once it was done.
By the end of the day though I was just itching to wash my face. Thankfully, throughout the day I was comfortable as my skin was able to breathe. Washing it off felt wonderful though! I usually wear minimal amounts of make up if any at all. I am grateful for the genes I inherited that has given me skin that I do not feel the need to wear any make up. I am also grateful that I am comfortable in both states.
But not everyone is. So many woman feel naked without their “face” on. And others, like me can get along just fine with or without it. I think it is important to be comfortable with and without. Embrace the story your face tells either way. Whatever the reason you have to wear it or not wear it, embrace the woman you are in total. You are complete and beautiful whether or not you wear make up. Enjoy what make up can do but also enjoy the natural beauty that is already there.
[Tweet “Enjoy what make up can do but also enjoy the natural beauty that is already there. “]
Make up has power to give the person wearing it to have confidence in themselves. To reflect themselves from the inside out or vice versa.Then when you do get glammed up, be sure to get photos! Take photos sans make up too. Celebrate your beauty.
Today I turn thirty seven. Yep, that’s a 3 and a 7. Officially on the other side of thirty-five and not far from forty. I don’t feel like I’m an adult yet. But here I am, an adult.
Some years call for large parties and great fun. Others are more quiet .[Tweet “Some years call for large parties and great fun. Others are more quiet .”]
One isn’t better than another, it simply means celebrating comes in different sizes. I’ve had those parties and I hope to have more in years to come. But right I crave the quiet celebration. I celebrated with family and friends this past weekend. That was just lovely for me and where I am in my life right now.