Waiting. It feel like in my life that I’m constantly waiting for something, at times patiently and other times not as much. I know I’m not alone in this I’m sure.
Waiting is often seen as unfair. People hate to wait. If there is an unforeseen wait, people become uncomfortable and impatient. It can either be the day to day errands that end up taking longer. Or in the waiting for other things, dreams and hopes in life.
Waiting means inconvenience. It means that the thing I may want will take longer or even not at all. Waiting can mean disappointment. It can mean heartache. It can also mean gaining something far greater than originally hoped for.
What matters is how I wait. When I wait with an attitude of I deserve this or that, then I become selfish. I lose sight of the things I already have in my life. Instead becoming obsessed with this thing or hope.
When I wait with a sense of humbleness and prayerfully my focus becomes less on myself and more onJesus. Laying all my expectations at the feet of Jesus. This doesn’t mean I have ceased longing for these things but I give up on the idea that I have control over gaining them.
I confess this is hard for me to do. I’ve had to give up hopes & desires again and again. I’ve had to learn to let go of an expectation. I’ve had to learn that not getting something in the timeframe I wanted doesn’t mean I’m less than somehow. There are things I have longed for in the past that hurt so much when it didn’t happen. As I look back, I find myself grateful today for that journey. I understand that in some things I had desired was with the wrong heart and attitude.
It always comes back to that. It’s not so much the what I’m waiting on but where is my heart and attitude about it? Instead of seeing waiting as an inconvenience, I am choosing to see it as an opportunity.
An opportunity to learn, an opportunity to grow. This year I to choose to embrace waiting instead of fighting against it. Because I wonder how much I have missed when fighting against waiting. What lessons have I missed because my focus was so zoned in on what I was waiting on instead of leaning into where the Lord was leading me?
And just like that, I believe I have found my word for this year. Or in this case phrase Embracing Waiting.