My Easter Story

This is Holy Week, a time to reflect on the reality of the death and resurrection of Christ. I can’t help but also reflect on my own walk. I have always believed in something bigger than me, caring for me. As a very child I pictured this in the form of giants that I could not see. These creatures had control over all of us as well as the world we live in.

One could say that I have always had a rather vivid imagination.

My family for the most part are Catholic. In which I was raised as well. Baptized as a small child, receiving communion and having my confirmation at thirteen or fourteen. I honestly cannot recall.

My family was fairly active in church. We attended mass on a weekly basis.My grandfather, whom we called Pops taught CCD and was also a lay Eucharist  minister. He brought communion and holy water to those in local nursing homes. My sister, who would later be the first to leave the Catholic church also taught CCD classes for a time.

As a teen I had no interest in God. Attending class but not being fully present. I counted the minutes until I could leave. Or spent my time making fun of a video played for us. After the loss of my mommy and a few years later my Pops, we stopped going altogether.

It was a slow, subtle stop. First it was a Sunday here and there. Then none at all. Easter and Christmas we still attended mass, well most of us. I didn’t mind whatsoever at that time.

Who needed God when I had anger, food and television? After all it was all I needed at the time. Still God pursued me. Despite myself and being resistant he pursued and protected me. I managed to get to the edge of things but never completely over.

I began to attend mass again but kept people at arms length. I wanted to hold onto my anger and live my life how I wanted to live. It was what I knew best. But still I longed for more. In the end, the Catholic faith was not where God intended for me to be. 

Easter Sunday, eight years ago that all changed. For months I had attended services at my sister’s church,  a Baptist Church. Seeing as I was only used to the rhythms of a mass, it took me awhile to grow used to this church. I still kept my distance, willing to attend but not engage beyond the surface.

As much as I did not want to admit it, I longed for Christ. I was wrestling with God and what it could mean to follow him. Because I understood I would leave behind so much of what I knew.

Towards the end of Easter service, the pastor invited those who wanted Jesus to come forward. I found myself standing up and walking towards the front. In that moment I felt Jesus with me, in a physical way I had not since I was a child. 

So began my imperfect walk with Christ. I resisted a lot of the things God wanted for me. I admit I still do. I couldn’t quite believe that God wanted me, that he loves me as no one else ever can. But he still pursues me. Caring for me through so much in these years.

Believing in His truth has made it possible for me to become the person He wants me to be. If you feel God pursuing your heart, please stop running. Let go of what you think comforts you, as those things don’t linger . Jesus is the only one who sustains. 

That is my Easter story.  Thanks for reading. 

 

 

 

 

A Birthday Reflection

Today I turn thirty seven. Yep, that’s a 3 and a 7. Officially on the other side of thirty-five and not far from forty. I don’t feel like I’m an adult yet. But here I am, an adult.

Some years call for large parties and great fun. Others are more quiet .[Tweet “Some years call for large parties and great fun. Others are more quiet .”]

One isn’t better than another, it simply means celebrating comes in different sizes. I’ve had those parties and I hope to have more in years to come. But right I crave the quiet celebration. I celebrated with family and friends this past weekend. That was just lovely for me and where I am in my life right now.

Mid Week Motivator: Exercise Interuptus

Last week I hit by a terrible cold. It felt defeating as I had just gotten in three days of a new running routine. Just as I started to get into the groove of it, BOOM!

As I had to continue showing up for work I ended up with no energy left to run.

It wasn’t until yesterday  that I was able to get in a good work out. I’ve learned to not get caught up in negative thoughts during these times. Sometimes its just fine to push through and run. Other times not as much. I needed the energy I had to get through each work day.

Honor what your body is telling you. This is just so important in overall health and fitness.

Story Monday: Hamilton

For the first Monday of each month I like to discuss story. What it is and how it affects us. Today, I’m going to get a bit political as I look at history. Particularly early North American  history.

Recently I have become slightly obsessed with Hamilton the musical, based on the Biography by Ron Chernow. The broadway show written by Lin-Manuel Miranda, previously of The Heights.This musical tells the factual story of not only one man but also the birth of my nation. I must say it is great to listen to while running as well.

What I am reminded of most is that anything we currently bemoan the state of affairs. None of this new. There has always been personal ambition mingled in with collusion which somehow benefits the citizens.

I am reminded that this country was founded by an imperfect group of men. Men who were all too human in temperment and ambition. Their hurts and desires at times getting in the way.

It had to be frightening and confusing for not only leadership but regular citizens. Imagine being back then. A war has just been won, severing us from Europe. From what we knew to a new system , yet untested.

One beset by ego, back room deals and uncertainty. Some things never change. I also see hope that dreams and  hardwork can bring. Benefiting not only a person but so many more.

The show, does not shy away from Hamilton’s foibles. Which all of us are susceptible to as well. These can be our downfall, but also be moments to show our strength of character. The story of Alexander Hamilton resonates because it is the human one. The struggle, triumph, self destruction , selfishness and love. 

That and the amazing music.

Mid Week Motivator : Post January Slump

It is March, those goals, hopes and plans we declared at the start of this year may be waning. Perhaps they petered out by the end of January. Or slowed down during the month of February.

Here we are at the start of March. I admit it has been hit or miss for my goals thus far. Some I have concentrated on more as others fell to the wayside. But it’s not too late.

January first is not the only day for.a fresh start. Make today your day to go after your goals, dreams and hopes.