In conjunction with the release of Sarah Bessey’s new book Out Of Sorts, I am participating in a synchblog. If you haven’t read her blog or her previous book, Jesus Feminist I highly reccomend you do. Her voice is often breath of fresh air on the interwebs and I look forward to reading her latest book!
I used to thinkthat I was forgotten, but now I think I am beloved.
When I was a child, I went on road trips with my parents. My dad enjoyed looking at historical sights, often this meant graveyards. Graveyards filled with headstones whose names were well worn off. Lives that were now forgotten.
It saddened me, that lives fully lived could be forgotten. It struck me that, my life would also be forgotten. A fear was born. I feared that this would become my fate. My life here forgotten once all those who loved me leave this world. I can’t say that this is exactly when this fear began but it sure didn’t help it.
And this fear grew as I entered my teen years. As I grieved the loss of several family members over a three year span. As I tried to fit in but didn’t. Becoming jealous when hearing of others going out and I wasn’t invited. I began to feel that being forgotten was simply my lot in life.
Then I met Jesus. I began to read the Bible and I learned something crucial. That the Lord doesn’t need me, but instead that he wanted me. He had never forgotten me in all the time I felt so. He had pursued me as I pursued friendships and approval.
He is my creator, he brought me to life. I felt so forgotten and hopeless because I didn’t know of the amazing love Jesus has for me. How this truth that I am his beloved, royal daughter squashed this fear of being forgotten.
Those moments of jealousy and anger can still crop up from time to time. But I am quickly reminded of who I am Christ. I will never be doomed to being forgotten.